How To Encourage Your Youth Director

If you have a youth director, you are blessed. Many young people would give anything to have a youth director. Whatever you do, please do not take your youth director for granted. I do know that youth directors everywhere need young people who will encourage them. God gave me the privilege of being a youth director for a few years before putting me in the pastoral ministry. My wife and I were blessed with some tremendous young people. Many of these young people are now faithfully serving the Lord today. I truly believe that a youth director/leader is very valuable to the young people in the Lord’s churches. Here are some of the ways that young people can encourage their youth leader and his wife. Many of these ideas would apply to encouraging a pastor, Sunday school teacher or Christian school teacher. To any young people who read this, I want to challenge you to encourage your youth leader and his wife.

1) Be faithful to church.

A youth director loves to see his young people faithful to every church service.

2) Be faithful to all youth events.

This would include Sunday school, teen hour (like FRMBC’s ProTeens), teen soul winning, teen prayer time, youth revivals, youth conferences, teen camp, etc.

3) Be a soul winner.

If you really want to encourage your youth director, lead a soul to Christ.

4) Show up early.

When you show up early, you can meet the visitors, be friendly, and help to set a good spirit.

5) Be responsive in services.

It’s okay for young men to say “amen” at the appropriate times. Pay attention, and allow God to speak to your heart. It will encourage your youth director to see you respond during the invitation.

6) Sing.

As a young person, you must learn to sing. Sing with fervency! Think about the words of the songs. A youth group that loves to sing is a youth group that is spiritual.

7) Sit up front.

I have never seen a young person do great things for God from the back row of Sunday school or church.

8) Look for ways to help.

Help your youth director set up before activities and clean up after activities. Don’t allow your youth director’s wife to clean the church kitchen. Don’t allow the youth director to sweep the bus/van. Take the initiative to help in any way possible.

9) Express your gratitude.

Be thankful. Thank your youth director for lessons, messages, activities, etc. Write a lot of thank you notes—be a thankful teenager.

10) Write notes of encouragement to your youth director and his wife.

I still have many notes of encouragement from young people in my youth group. Those young people will probably never know how much those notes encouraged me.

11) Don’t complain.

As a youth director, I organized a few activities that were awful. Perhaps you have experienced a boring activity. No matter what – don’t complain. Be glad that you have a youth director and youth activities of any kind; many teens do not.

12) Never criticize.

Your youth director needs your support not your criticism. Don’t be negative. Look for opportunities to compliment and encourage your youth director. Your parents should do that as well.

13) Be consistent.

Look like a Christian, act like a Christian, dress like a Christian, talk like a Christian 24/7. This will be a great encouragement to your youth director.

14) Pray for your youth director.

Pray for him daily. Pray for his wife and family. Pray that God would give him wisdom and power. Let him know that you are praying for him.

15) Communicate.

Let your youth director know how you are doing. Keep him informed about decisions you are making. Ask your youth director to pray for specific needs that you have.

Your youth director has invested much time, energy, and prayer into your life. After you graduate, don’t throw it all away. Continue to live for God. Stay faithful to church. FRMBC youth are encouraged to attend our Bible institute. Ask your pastor to have such a ministry for post -high school youth. Seek God’s will for your life. Seeing you give your life to God to serve Him will encourage your youth director like nothing else can.

Does God Care What We Wear? (Part 3)

In a day when sloppier and sleezier is finding its way into churches and the Christian home, may we reconsider clear biblical principles and transfer them to our children. God gives us many good reasons to carefully choose our dress and to set guidelines for how we “appear.” The first six reasons were as follows:
1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. 2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. 3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and identify with godliness. 4. To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. 5. To honor the convictions of spiritual authorities. 6. To give account to the Lord with joy. Let’s consider four final principles to choosing “what we wear” and why to have a student ministry dress standard.
7. To promote a spirit of maturity. Maturity isn’t an age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. The young people we influence are quickly becoming adults, and no responsible adult gets to dress the way they want all the time! We accept given boundaries in a multitude of environments—because we take responsibility seriously. (By the way, kids may not always respect what their parents respect, but they always disrespect what their parents disrespect. Just remember that about spiritual authorities.)
When we let kids wear whatever they want, we are teaching them to be self-centered—to believe that the world revolves around them. The sooner I can get our teens over their fashion-conscious insecurities, the more mature and responsible they will become. First Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
It is possible to help this generation of young people understand what it means to be mature examples. In fact, this is what God commands in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” And as I always say, be an example, not an excuse!
8. To exemplify a distinct lifestyle not conformed to the world. Simply put, the attitude that says, “I can wear what I want when I want and nobody can tell me different” is not a spiritual life—it’s a carnal life. This is a life conformed, not transformed. Ephesians 5:8, “For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light.” Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
I still believe that God intends for us to walk “out of step” with the world. This simply isn’t the case for modern Christendom; and I emphasize the “dom” (dumb). Most Christians are trying to blend in as best as they can with the world’s styles. Why do we care what the world thinks more than what the Lord desires? God instructs us in Galatians that, even as we are in Christ, we are also to put on Christ. Most Christians are more than happy to be in Christ, but far fewer really desire to put on Christ.
9. To protect the thoughts and innocence of young men and young ladies. No parent would want young men lusting after your daughter. No parent would want a son tempted at a youth function. Unfortunately, our sons will most likely see more inappropriate clothing by accident during their teen years than their grandfathers could have looked for in a lifetime.
For this reason, I contend that a church youth group and youth activities should be a “spiritually-safe” environment for young people. When we teach modesty to young women, we are teaching them to value themselves as God does and to save themselves for marriage. And we are protecting the hearts and minds of young men—teaching them to guard their thoughts. When we teach appropriateness to young men, we are teaching them responsibility and respect toward the Lord and others.
Second Timothy 2:22, “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
10. To be a clear witness of the Gospel. You would have to take several dozen teenagers to public places on a regular basis to understand this one. When our teenagers pile out of a church van in a McDonalds parking lot, or stand in line together at a theme park—they are noticed. And when they are dressed sharp—they flat out SHINE!
Not long ago, a youth leader had a group of senior-highers at a restaurant. As their group spent forty-five minutes enjoying food and fellowship, they were dressed sharp, they acted respectfully, and they were kind to others in the restaurant. (For instance, their teens allow other people to take the front of the line whenever our entire group is in line at a restaurant.) Toward the end of their visit, two adults approached youth leader and asked where these “wonderful students” were from. He happily told them the name of their church—to which they replied, “Well, this sure gives us hope for the next generation! What a great group of young people!”
The youth leader was so thankful for the testimony that the Lord allowed them to have at that moment. Sadly, I’ve seen some youth groups that were in no way different from any other group of teens in secular America. Why can’t we remember that man always looks on the outward appearance—1 Samuel 16:7? Jesus taught us in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
So there you have them—ten principles to validate that God does care what we wear. I pray you will consider them and teach them. Teens want to know “why.” They won’t always understand all of our rules, but this is one area where they are more than capable of connecting the dots—if we present them reasonably and biblically. Everybody knows that dress matters. It’s really just a matter of submitting our selfish wills to God and living to please Him first.
These same principles would apply to hairstyles, make-up, manners and other areas of outward conduct as well. Perhaps as you read these principles you thought, “Well, that’s just not ME. I have to be ME.” May I gently encourage you to give up that self-centered thought process. I figured out a long time ago that “being myself” was a losing proposition—and a very limiting one. The winning life is really about surrendering your identity fully to Jesus Christ.
Just trust the Lord and His Word. If you are a spiritual leader, lead your group in the right direction. Give clear biblical direction and unashamedly lead the way. If you’re a teenager—value yourself, your testimony, and your future enough to dress for God’s glory. Set aside your own preferences or self-centered thinking. Decide to dress in a way that absolutely pleases the Lord and shows respect for Him in every environment.
As I close, I would like to contextualize everything I’ve stated earlier with this final thought. Encouraging Christians to dress to honor the Lord is not about legalism or arrogance. We are not “Gestapo” about this. We don’t look down on someone who doesn’t dress perfectly to our standard. We are compassionate towards them. We welcome teens and families to our church that don’t dress the way we wish they would. Yet we still love them, teach them, and minister to them.
We just don’t buy into the argument that successful youth ministry (or any other ministry) requires rock music, grunge dress, and freakishly immature youth pastors. In fact, the youth groups that I see with that philosophy are failing miserably at life change. Judging by the product—NO THANKS!
As you raise the bar in this area, please do so with tenderness and compassion. Teach the truth with love and patience. Teach your teens that decent dress doesn’t produce a right heart—it should reflect one! Christ-honoring dress should be the product of a pure heart, not the white-washed exterior of a proud one.
Finally, I haven’t tried to define your standard. That’s up to you, the Lord, and His Word. It’s up to your authorities. If your standard isn’t mine, I’m not accountable for that. My standard doesn’t define spirituality, it merely defines what God has put on my heart for the environments and people that I lead and influence. You must define your standard by God’s Word, and be prepared to answer to Him for it. By the way, the Word of God doesn’t say something to me and then something different to you. Anyone who understands the doctrine of bibliology would know that. When it comes to dress—do you care about honoring the Lord? I pray that you do.

Does God Care What We Wear? (Part 2)

In a day when sloppier and sleezier is finding its way into the church and the Christian home, may we reconsider clear biblical principles and transfer them to our children. God gives us many good reasons to carefully choose our dress and to set guidelines for how we “appear.” The first three reasons were as follows:
1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. 2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. 3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and identify with godliness. The last article provided verses and explanations. Let’s consider the next three reasons why we should hold a high standard for our dress choices both at church and in our family.
4. To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. Sadly, teens today are more sexually educated, sexually active, and sexually tempted than they have EVER been in American history! In our homes and church environments we should be committed to maintaining a pure and godly atmosphere—and that means dress should be modest and appropriate. The way we dress absolutely contributes to the environment of a group or family setting, and these environments should be godly and Christ-honoring.
Additionally, teens often draw much of their identity from their clothing! They are highly self-conscious and image conscious. Read this statement carefully: A group dynamic where every individual is consumed with social status and fashion trends doesn’t lend itself to individual spiritual growth! They must get over themselves before they will grow spiritually.
Every time a youth group meets, they should be pursuing spiritual transformation! This is not a light thing. It is a very serious matter. And our dress should contribute to the process, not detract from it. Romans 13:14, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.” Romans 14:19, “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”
Think of this “environment” principle this way: What if your child needed open heart surgery and the surgeon showed up for surgery wearing flip flops, cut-off shorts, a tank top, a ball cap, sunglasses, and smelling like sunscreen? If you are normal, you would deem him inappropriate and unfit for surgery!
When my son, Michael, was born, he had a low blood oxygen level, and for a few days he had to be kept in the NICU ward of the hospital. Strangely, every time I wanted to hold him or see him, I had to scrub my hands and arms and cover myself in the oddest-looking blue outfit you have ever seen. Why? Because the NICU is about a delicate health environment where little lives are at stake. The value of those lives places a premium on the cleanliness of the environment.
So, how valuable are the young hearts we are raising up in today’s godless culture? How safe and pure is the environment you create for young people? Is your church or youth or group or home a place where spiritual growth is highly valued? (It is at FRMBC.) Or is it a place where sensuality reigns in the name of “grace.” I know that’s strong, but I fear that we have devalued our spiritual environments to the point where, though kids might be having fun—dressing and dancing and playing—we have killed the chance for real life transformation. The environment matters, and kids don’t need us to juvenilize God and His truth! They need us to call them to higher ground and to a biblical lifestyle that rises above the dictates of culture.
5. To honor the convictions of our pastor. What could possibly be wrong with simply preferring another person—especially one in God-ordained spiritual authority? The Bible is clear on this principle in two ways. First, we are commanded to honor those who have the rule over us. Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls…”. Second, we are commanded to prefer one another! Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”
For young people, the question of dress is as simple as, “What do my authorities want me to wear?” At this point it is imperative that parents Biblically line up with their pastor! The attitude that says, “I’ll wear what I want no matter what anybody says” is not only rebellious, it is just purely selfish and childish. Any two-year old can display that on cue! If I know an authority figure, especially a pastor or youth leader, prefers that I dress a certain way, I’m right to honor and to prefer my authority just to show love and respect. Besides that, they most likely Biblically correct.
Question: Why will we do this for employers, restaurants, golf courses, and bowling alleys, but we won’t do it for the Lord or for environments that represent Him?
6. To give an account to the Lord with joy. This one is really big for me—both as a parent and as a pastor. We really do have to stand before God to answer for the environment we allow! We will answer to God for what we allow and for what we teach. May God give us the courage to make our dress choices not by the movement of culture, but by the principle of accountability to God and His Word. Second Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.”
So there you have it—three more reasons why we can conclude that God really does care about what we wear. There are four more reasons to go! Until then—give God His way and dress for the glory of His name not your own!

Does God Care What We Wear? (Part 1)

As a pastor I am often asked about dress standards—from teens, from parents, and from other youth leaders and pastors. Do we have a dress standard? What is it? How do we enforce it? Why do we have one? What about visitors? The questions and the reasonings sometimes seem endless, and can actually be seriously distracting from the central point of student ministry. To get straight to the point, this is a real issue in youth ministry in the twenty-first century and many are looking for balanced biblical answers.
As culture continually slips into sloppier and sleazier, many churches and families have all but given up this battle. Many are opting for the “well, God loves us no matter how we dress” approach to Christianity. And of course He does! No one argues that point. But God loves me regardless of how I live too! That’s just not a valid argument when considering “what to wear.” God’s love or acceptance isn’t the issue—pleasing Him and representing Him well are the issues.
In the next couple of articles I would like to explore the subject of dress from a student ministry perspective. If you are a parent, these articles will encourage you to consider biblical principles for your children and your own home. If you are a youth leader or pastor, this article will challenge you to reasonably define and compassionately lead your group environment to be honoring to the Lord. Either way, I hope we all decide to “raise the bar” for some very good, biblical reasons. I believe the Bible is very clear—YES—God does care what we wear.
In Matthew 11:7–9 Jesus is speaking about John the Baptist. And while the central context of this passage is not about clothing, He draws a clear distinction between what a godly man wears and what would be worn in a pagan environment. (The term soft clothing in this passage refers to common homosexual practices of the day.) The Bible draws the same conclusion in Proverbs 7:10 where it says, “…the attire of an harlot.” Point being—different types of people dress differently and clothing certainly identifies us with a lifestyle. To put one point of these verses in plain English: godly men don’t dress the same as effeminate men, and godly ladies don’t dress like harlots.
Would you consider with me your dress choices? Would you consider what you allow your teenager to wear in a variety of contexts, and would you let those decisions be subject to God’s will? If so, then I pray that these following considerations will challenge your thinking and provoke serious consideration of this matter. I recently gave our students and parents ten reasons why we have a student ministry dress standard, and why I have a dress standard for my family. Let me share three of them with you now and the rest over the next couple of articles.
1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. So many of our dress decisions are purely based on pleasing self and pleasing others. When you wake up and get dressed, for whom are you dressing? First Corinthians 10:31 teaches, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”
2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. This is more of an issue with ladies because men are “sight oriented.” If you have a home with only girls, you may not really get this! What some ladies or moms think is “cute” is very often provocative. Dad must be the authority in this area and moms should work to educate themselves on what their daughters “look like” through the eyes of young men. First Timothy 2:9 teaches, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel…”.
3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and to identify with godliness. Philippians 4:5 teaches, “Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.” The definition of moderation is appropriateness. While young men might not have to struggle so much with modesty, they certainly should be taught what is appropriate dress for various environments.
It seems our young people are being taught that wearing their “ball-game” clothing to church is appropriate. It simply isn’t. When it comes to dress, we should have a higher respect for spiritual environments than we do for mowing the lawn. It’s the same reason we dress better for weddings and funerals—because we respect the people and the environment involved. Why should the Lord get less respect than the dead?
We’ve just barely scratched the surface of this topic. I pray that you will take these first three points and teach them to your teenagers, your children, or your youth group. Teens want to know “why.” They won’t always understand all of our rules, but this is one area where they are more than capable of connecting the dots—if we present them reasonably and biblically. Everybody knows that dress matters. It’s really just a matter of submitting our selfish wills to God and living to please Him first.

Obedience

An F16 fighter jet is an amazing aircraft with incredible capabilities. But there is one thing that a jet pilot requires above all else: that the aircraft reacts completely to his control. If it were to have "a mind of its own" regardless of how remarkablable that might sound, it would end up doing as much flying as a door stop.

In the same sense, even if we had all the gifting under the sun, God as the ultimate "pilot" of our lives, will only do amazing and remarkable things with our lives if we are fully under His control. If we insist upon taking our lives into our own hands at every opportunity we will find ourselves as effective as a perverbial door stop, and a less gifted by more humble man or woman will be used in our stead. Obedience to God is the golden key to a life of joy and excellence.