Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 2

THE CHALLENGE OF FRIENDS

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Nothing changes more rapidly after high school than friendships. A new job, less time with youth group friends, and college bring a whole new world of associations into the life of a young adult. This is a wonderful opportunity that brings with it some danger for those unprepared. Essentially, every graduate needs to understand how to draw a careful line between friends and acquaintances—defined as follows:

Friends are people who influence me. These are the people I desire to be like and with whom I will spend more time. These are the people whom I will allow to have influence and a sharpening effect in my life. These should always be Christians (Baptists) and godly authorities who will continue to develop and mentor me in God’s grace. Young people must remember that God placed them in the church they are in not just to raise them, but to be where they can be used by Him in ministry opportunities. It is vital to form Biblical friendships in their church. Furthermore, young people should not be overy obsessed with guy - girl relationships. (I'll save that topic for another post... or two... or three.)

Acquaintances are people I will influence. These are the people I will determine to exert influence upon without becoming like them. These are co-workers, class-mates, and people who just aren’t going the same direction in life. Amos 3:3 teaches, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Often, young people sense an obligation to relationships—an obligation to give in to pressure, to fit in, to need acceptance from the wrong people. To survive this challenge, my greatest obligations must be to honor the Lord and associate closely with people who will help me walk with Him. Graduates should feel no infatuation or obligation to potentially harmful relationships or associations. And every young person should expect that the devil will try to bring distracting relationships into his life very soon, if he hasn’t already.

Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 1

Have you ever seen a train wreck? There is not a more vivid metaphor than the unbridled collision of several tons of moving metal resulting in twisted steel, broken glass, and an industrial disaster of gargantuan proportions. Too often we see high school graduates celebrate their graduation night and start down the tracks of adulthood only to wreck their lives just a few miles from the train station! This is the time of year we see graduates “commence” or begin their post-high school adult lives; so I thought it would be appropriate to consider the top three challenges facing every graduate. It could be stated that these are the first big and immediate tests that confront a young adult immediately after high school. If they pass these tests, they avoid the bad decisions that can lead to a spiritual train wreck. Perhaps these thoughts will be helpful as our youth prepare for adulthood. These are even good reminders to those who have been out of high school a few years already.

THE CHALLENGE OF A JOB

Exodus 20:9–10 says, “Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God.” God created us to work and expects us to lead productive lives. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
And every young adult is excited about having that first job! Mine was working on the grounds crew at a local golf coarse. What a joy. And yet, so many young people allow their jobs to become their first spiritual downfall, often within a few weeks of high school graduation. How?

They Work at the Wrong Place. Even in a tough economy, starter jobs are fairly easy to find, especially for hard working, honest, and clean-cut young people. It’s amazing how many Christians will take jobs at places where a Christian has no business working. No amount of money is worth corrupting your heart and mind, so teach young adults to be selective about work environments. It is possible to work in the world without “eating the king’s meat” (Daniel 1:8). For every Christian, there ought to be some places we just wouldn’t work, no matter what.

They Work at the Wrong Time. The first test of a new job is Sunday work. How is it that we can toss God and His church aside for $7.50 an hour? One of the greatest reasons young people fall away from God after high school is that they stop attending church because of work! But for those who honor God’s commands and protect Sunday, God always provides for their needs in a better way. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the years—God always takes care of those who protect His day and who stay deliberately and faithfully involved in their local churches.

They Work for the Wrong Purpose. Some young people view their new jobs as nothing more than a way to meet new friends and buy clothes or iPods, while others see it as a temporary means to a more important end and a way to be a witness for Christ. Those with a higher purpose—pursuing the will of God—always keep their jobs in check and view them as an opportunity to facilitate God’s will in other areas.

I'll continue this in part 2.

Attitude: It Will Make You Or Break You

Success is not measured in talent, ability, or riches, but rather in your attitude.
The year was 1890 and report cards were being sent home from the schools in England. A young sixteen-year-old boy took his card home and, with fear and anticipation, he opened the envelope. Although he was a bright student, his speech impediment made him something less than desirable to listen to. After glancing at his report card for several minutes, he found these words written to him from his speech teacher. “Obvious, No Success.” The young teenage boy looked at those words and determined that his life was going to be a success! The sixteen-year-old boy’s name was Winston Churchill, and he later did go on to become a great success.

What was the difference maker in this man’s life? Attitude! Success is not measured in talent, ability, or riches, but rather in your attitude. Winston Churchill said these words, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

The Bible gives much reference to our attitude as Christians. The word spirit simply means “our prevailing attitude.” Here are a few examples of spirits or attitudes in the Bible.
Jealous
Evil
Wicked
Haughty
Prideful
Meek
Humble
Conquering
Wounded
Doubting
Aside from Christ, one of the greatest examples that we see in the Bible of a good attitude is that of a man by the name of Daniel. If there ever was a man who had an excuse to have a negative attitude, it was Daniel. Daniel was a taken from family and friends, became a prisoner of war, and was forced to live in a wicked country. Yet we find in Daniel 6:1-3 that Daniel was promoted and exalted above all the king’s men because of his excellent spirit.

Let me ask you, what type of attitude do you have? If we were to ask your parents, pastor, youth pastor, friends and teachers, what would they say about you? Could they say that you, like Daniel, have an excellent spirit?

Here are few helpful thoughts that teenagers can apply to their lives as they seek to have an attitude that will honor and glorify God.
1. Never allow circumstances to dictate your attitude.
There will always be enough negative things that will happen each day to cause you to have a negative attitude.
You will fail a test.
Your friends will lie about you.
You had plans to hang out at a friend’s house only to have your parents say no.
There are endless examples. You can either decide to allow these negative circumstances to control your attitude, or you can take charge of your attitude and live on the winning side.
2. Attitude determines altitude.
How high you soar in life will ultimately depend upon your attitude. Someone once said, “We are not born winners, and we are not born losers. We are all born choosers.” The attitude of success or failure is an attitude that you choose for yourself.
3. Attitude is contagious.
In Daniel chapter one, we find that Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat. As a result, three other young men decided to make the same choice as Daniel. Why? Because his attitude was contagious. Your attitude is either infecting people’s lives or it is affecting people’s lives. If our attitude is contagious, is yours worth catching? What kind of youth group would we have if everyone in the youth group had your attitude? Make your attitude worth catching!

Our attitude is something that can be very effective if used in the proper manner. May each of us strive to make our attitude something that can be used greatly in the hand of an Almighty God.

Questions of Young Christian Singles

It is extremely important that young Christian singles have a place where they can air important questions about the needs in their lives. In order for a student ministry to be effective, older teens and young adults need to be able to approach a spiritual leader with these questions. It is imperative that spiritual leaders convey approachability to those they lead.

Here are questions that are on most of the minds of older teens and young singles:

1. How do your parents’ roles change as you get older?
2. How can you be 100% sure about God’s will for your life?
3. How do I discern or understand that God is leading in a certain direction?
4. Where/how do you draw the line on music?
5. How do you react/talk to friends who have trials that you can’t understand?
6. How do I deal with co-workers who ridicule me for being a Christian? (How can I witness to my co-workers?)
7. How do you not let fear of the future stop you from moving forward?
8. Dating—finding the right person, developing a godly relationship, when to say “I love you,” parents’ approval, dealing with breaking up, being physical, etc.
9. How do I approach my finances—budgeting, saving, giving, etc.?
10. How can I handle trials and stay faithful through them?
11. How do I deal with spiritual struggles—my relationship with God being up and down or failing in the same areas over and over?

12. How can I help a friend that I’m burdened for who is drifting away from the Lord?

Those of us who have been placed by a pastor in these areas of ministry should make sure we're addressing these topics regularly and biblically. I would emphasize that only those whom a pastor has authorized should deal with young people in these areas; people with the same heart and biblical convictions of a pastor. I would also encourage parents to seek godly counsel from their pastor on how they can deal with these topics. Our older teens and single young adults need sound, spiritual leaders to lead them in the paths of righteousness for the Lord's sake (Psalm 23:3).