Faith Focus for December 27

December: Being a Servant

Psalm 25:5 Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

As we remain teachable, we remain useable.

Faith Focus for December 19

December: Being a Servant

Philippians 2:7
But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

The branch that bears the most fruit bows the lowest to the ground.

Sell Out or Sold Out

I recently was on the hunt for a particular gift that I knew an individual needed. I jumped into my car and drove to a store where I just knew I could find this item. I searched the store high and low but was unable find what I was looking for. Finally, I broke down and decided to ask the sales clerk where I could find it. To my surprise, the clerk informed me that they were sold out. I left the store disappointed, but on the way home this thought came to my mind. What if every Christian were “sold out” for Christ? The Bible tells us in Matthew 22:37, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.” A sold-out Christian is one who is emptied of self, one who gives his all for Christ. As a Christian young person, there are several areas where you can be sold out for Christ.
• Church house—The Psalmist said, “I was glad when they said unto me let us go unto the house of the Lord.” What is missing in this generation of teenagers is a commitment to the church house. We are told that 70% of teens who attend church never return to church after graduation from high school. What a tragic statistic! Though this may be said about some, I encourage you to be a young person who is “sold out” to the house of God.
• Clean living—It seems as though the world, the flesh, and the devil have launched every fiery dart at the Christian young person. We live in a day and age where holiness, righteousness, and clean living is mocked and criticized. It is going to take a “sold-out” young person to stand up for what is right.
• Commitment for Christ—I love the commitment of the Apostle Paul that is so evident when he tells us, “For to me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” If we are not careful, we are committed to sports, recreation, hobbies, friends, and relationships—but our commitment to Christ is sorely lacking in comparison.
As I thought of being sold out for Christ, I thought of so many Christians who instead choose to sell out. I am reminded of Judas who, for thirty pieces of silver, decided to sell out. The term sell out refers to the compromising of one’s integrity, morality, and principles in exchange for money, success, or personal gain. Many teens and young adults are compromising their character and conviction for the sake of convenience and comfort. Are you selling out in any of the areas listed above? Instead of being a teen and/or young adult who sells out, be a young person who is sold out for God.

Faith Focus for December 13

December: Being a Servant

Romans 12:10-11
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
11 Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord;

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do!

Faith Focus for December 6

December: Being a Servant

Psalm 100:2
Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

We need wisdom to see from God's perspective; we need grace to serve with God's power.

Faith Focus for November 29

December: being a servant

1 Corinthians 15:58
Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.

When it comes to serving God - underestimate yourself, but don't underestimate God.

Faith Focus for November 22

November: Being a Giver

Romans 12:10
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

There is no better way to thank God for your sight than by giving a helping hand to someone in the dark.

How Long Is Your Attention Span?

A boy wnet to his father one day and said, with a slight whine in his voice, “Dad, can you make church not so long tonight?”
“Why?” his father asked.
“Because I always want to fall asleep!” was his honest reply.
His father answered, “Well, son, the people who come to church come to hear a message from the Bible, so I cannot promise that church will not be long.” Of course, “long” is a relative word anyway. The service lasts from 6:00 to 7:15 on Sunday nights. Shorter than a movie or a ball game, but nonetheless to a 4 year-old, it’s long!
About an hour later, the boy went to his father and said, “Did you decide yet, Dad?”
“Decide what?”
“If you could make church not so long tonight.”
“Well, I already answered you, son.”
“Oh.”
But apparently he heard what he wanted to hear and not what his father said. Later in the day he told his sisters, “Daddy is going to make church not be so long tonight.” One of the girls said to their father, “Is that true, Daddy?”
“Is what true?”
“Stephen said you’re going to make church shorter tonight.”
“No, that’s not what I told him.”

Apparently this boy had a serious case of “wishful thinking.” Now, I must stick up for him lest someone think he is a little heathen. He’s a very good boy. He loves all the people at church. But sometimes he gets really bored with the church service itself. It’s hard enough for any 4 year-old to stay interested in church, much less when the services are conducted entirely in a language that is not his own. So, I’m not concerned about the fact that he would rather be outside playing than sitting in church. But what I am concerned about is adult and teen Christians who are bored like this 4 year-old boy.

Don’t Be Bored with the House of God
I’m talking about those who drift in and out of sleep, count the number of light bulbs in the church, and draw in the songbook. I’m talking about the ones who have to leave the service talk on their cell phone. I’m talking about the ones who act like church is a religious duty which one must endure instead of a precious time of worshipping the God who loves them. Psalm 122:1 says, “I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD.”

Don’t Be Bored with the Word of God
I wonder how many times we as Christians approach our Bible reading time with indifference, apathy, and a desire to “keep it short.” Or if we do not necessarily desire to keep it short, there is still oftentimes the lack of ability to focus. Sometimes the smallest of interruptions can get us off track! We should not read our Bibles like a bored 4 year-old. Psalm 19:10 says that the Word of God is more desirable than much fine gold and it is sweeter than honey! The Word of God is valuable beyond measure and has a sweetness that is without equal! We should read and study it as if we actually believed that.

Don’t Be Bored with the Blessings of God
When God’s grace and lovingkindness and His undeserved blessings become “ho-hum” to us, warning signals should go off in our heads. Psalm 126:3 tells us the kind of spirit we should have when we consider God’s blessings: “The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad.” Psalm 103:2 says, “Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.” The Psalmist proceeds to itemize those benefits in the subsequent verses. I challenge you to read through Psalm 103 and then write down every single “benefit” that God has provided for you. It is stunning when you really stop to think about it. I don’t ever want to get over the manifold blessings of our gracious God.

I trust this thought will be a challenge to you to stay excited about the house of God, to stay focused upon the Word of God, and to continually stand in awe of the blessings of God. After all, we’re not 4 years old anymore.

Faith Focus for November 15

November: Being a Giver

Acts 20:35
I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Giving is true having. - Charles Spurgeon

Faith Focus for November 8

November: Being a Giver

Proverbs 22:9
He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

It's Not Easy Being Dysfunctional

It might not be the easiest thing to accept, but you’re dysfunctional! Don't feel bad, so am I. When compared to the perfection of Almighty God, we all fit into the category of being dysfunctional. Thanks to the unmerited favor of God, through the blood of Christ, we have been made new (2 Cor. 5:17). However, we still struggle with the old nature. Because of that, we battle with that old nature. This can cause a lot of trouble, especially early in life.

Unless you're way ahead of your time, you probably still enjoy a good Bugs Bunny cartoon and a pop tart just like I do. As a teenager, or young adult, you know just enough about life to be dangerous! Everybody wants to feel like they've arrived when they turn 18. You can vote; you can drive; you can stay out late… The world says, “You are now grown up!” The reality is, you're just now getting really good at being a kid!

The problem comes when somehow you reason that all that you know now makes you ready for adult life. Maybe you assume that you've passed the tests, gained the credentials, and you're ready to sail. You think having been a successful kid makes you ready to be a successful adult, but nothing could be further from the truth! This being the case, I congratulate you on not being ready to be an adult. However, I also congratulate you - you need God, and He's ready to help!

You cannot survive the journey through adulthood without Him. God's best for your future starts at a point of need not a point of strength. If you view yourself in a position of strength; if you have the “I am my own man” disease, you are in for some serious disappointment. People like this spend a large portion of their life figuring out that they are not really as great as they think.

If, on the other hand, you view yourself in a position of need, if you see the decisions you face through the eyes of humility and sincerity, then you will be driven to the Lord, to His Word, and to His guidance through godly adult counselors. If you know that you need God, then He will be found, and His blessings will follow. God tells us in James 4:6, But he giveth more grace.
Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. He promises in Proverbs 8:17 I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

Life is awesome! It really is great to be an adult and experience God's gifts day by day, but there are many risks. There are many ways to miss God's awesome plans for your future. That's why it is important for you to learn the lessons of spiritual growth and decision-making that will help you step-by-step through the decisions ahead.

I can't see your future any more than you can. The rules don't allow that. You have to choose to trust God and discover His good plan one day at a time as He reveals it to you.

Faith Focus for November 1

Novenber: Being a Giver

2 Corinthians 9:7
"Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver."

Generosity is an attitude that has nothing to do with what you have.

Faith Focus for October 25

October: Being a Soul Winner

Matthew 14:14
"And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them..."

"You do not love the Lord at all unless you love the souls of others." - Charles Spugeon

Faith Focus for October 18

October: Being a Soul Winner

Luke 14:23
And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled.

"We have all eternity to celebrate the victories but only a few hours before sunset to win them." - Amy Carmichael

Faith Focus for October 11

October: Being a Soul Winner
Mark 16:15
And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.

If a commission by an earthly being is considered an honor, how can a commossion by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice? - David Livingstone

Faith Focus for October 4

October: Being a Soul Winner
Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.

It is the only happy life, to live for the salvation of souls. - D.L. Moody

Faith Focus for September 27

September: Being a team player
John 15:4
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

Teamwork: Simply stated, it is less me and more we.

Speak Up!

3 Reasons to Give a Testimony

1. Give God the Glory
Many people today think as if God is dead because they never see Him at work in their life. When we tell others what God is doing in our lives, it shows them He is alive and still working today. Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” If you have made a decision for Christ or God is at work in your life, speak up and let someone know. It will give God the glory for what He is doing.

2. Encourage the Church Family
Even good people get tired or discouraged. One of the most encouraging things is to hear how God is working in someone else. Psalm 107:2 says, “Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy.”

3. Making Public What God Is Doing in Your Heart Makes You Accountable
We have no problem making decisions known when we truly intend on keeping them. When we shy away from telling others about a decision we have made, it is usually a sign that we really have no intention of keeping it at all. Learn to embrace and value accountability.

Let me encourage you to speak up and make known what God is doing in your heart and life. Share it with others in your youth group or Bible study group. Share it with your pastor and church. When is the last time you spoke of His work in you? I encourage you to do so. It will not only encourage others, it will encourage you.

Faith Focus for September 20

September: Being a team player
Ecclesiastes 4:
9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.
10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

There is no such thing as a self-made man. You will reach your goals only with the help of others.

Faith Focus for September 13

September: Being a team player
Romans 12:15
Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

Faith Focus for September 6

September: Being a team player
Galatians 6:2
Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. - Henry Ford

Faith Focus for August 30

September: Being a team player
1 Corinthians 12:12
For as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ.

There is no limit to what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit. - Ronald Reagan

Faith Focus for August 23

August: Being a student
2 Timothy 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Some people dream of worthy accomplishments while others stay awake and do them.

Do You Have a Road Map for Life?

Three Ways Biblical Counsel Helps

Do you have a map for your life? Do you know where you are headed, why, and what the destination will be? Are you certain that your present decisions will actually lead you to the intended destination?
It’s amazing how few people view life with the end in mind. We sometimes fail to connect our present decisions and direction with their ultimate outcomes. So often, the outcomes are not what we intended, but after decisions are made, we are forced to live with the results.
The best way to reach your ultimate destination is to study the road-map and take the correct course. Life is no different. So, back to the original question— what is your map for life?
The fact is, there’s no better life-map than the Bible. It is God’s gift to the human race—a guidebook for life. In the Bible, God gives thousands of principles and laws for navigating through life successfully. It’s His instruction manual for how life is designed to work. The more you understand it and apply it, the better you are at discovering your true identity and your life’s calling or purpose. And apart from the Bible, we’re all destined to wind up disappointed and empty—still longing for real purpose and significance.
Here’s one really good example of a life principle from God’s Word: Get good advice for every major decision. Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Now, a lot of people break this law and live to regret it. In other words, we don’t want advice.
Sometimes we fear that a counselor will have a private agenda and won’t counsel us honestly. At other times, we presume to know what our counselors will say, and we rationalize it away without even talking to them. But most often, we don’t get advice because we would rather not hear what we already know. Self-deception is a scary thing. We would rather be wrong and fantasize that things will work out, than really build a good decision with plenty of outside, biblical advice.
To our benefit, God instructs us to bring in godly, biblical counsel for our decisions. But I find that many people sell short good counsel. They don’t fully appreciate the value of good godly advice. There are three huge dynamics in play when getting counsel. It’s not merely about getting a “yes” or “no” on a particular decision. It’s bigger than that, so let’s break it down:
1. Biblical counsel helps define a right decision.
This is the first and perhaps biggest aspect of getting advice—just determining whether or not a decision is right. I would never make a major decision in life without a team of God-fearing people standing behind me saying, “Yes, that’s the right move!” It’s not about being unduly dependent upon others to make my decisions; it’s about having confirmation from the collective wisdom of successful people. It’s about finding someone who has taken this journey successfully and borrowing his map!
2. Biblical counsel helps to define the right process.
We often miss this. It’s very easy to do the right thing the wrong way! Getting biblical advice is a great way to put a plan together. It’s not enough just to do the right thing—it needs to be done the right way. A team of wise biblical advisors will help craft a plan of attack that will give the right decision with the right process.
3. Biblical counsel helps to define the right timing.
Finally, it’s possible to do the right thing the right way, but at the wrong time! For instance, a person might have found the right spouse and have a good plan for marriage, but the timing can be way off. Getting counsel is sometimes about waiting for God to show you His plan and timing. There are few things worse than forcing our own way too quickly. If this principle helps you, the good news is there are thousands more waiting to be discovered and applied to your life. They’re all in the Bible, and a good church family, Bible study class, and a godly pastor can help you begin the process of discovery!

You're free to make choices, but you're not free from the choices you make.

Faith Focus for August 16

August: Being a student
Psalm 119:105
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.

"You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today." - Abraham Lincoln

Welcome to the "Mistake Zone"

The 10 Most Dangerous Years of Everybody's Life -

If you are between the ages of 17 and 27, you are living in the 10 most dangerous years of your life. One leading author in the area of student ministries calls this time period the "Mistake Zone." It is the time of life when almost all of your biggest decisions will be made, yet it is the time of life when you are the very least equipped to make those decisions. Sounds scary? You bet. Can you avoid it? Absolutely not! Welcome to the "Mistake Zone!"

Thankfully, you're not alone. But before you make major decisions, take a look around you at the landscape of people who have been through the "Mistake Zone." You will find casualties no matter where you look. You'll find unwanted pregnancies, abortions, and sexually transmitted diseases. You'll find drunkenness, drug abuse, and chain smokers. You'll find divorce, custody battles, and broken lives. You'll find relational abuse, substance abuse, and sexual abuse. You'll find bad credit, lost jobs, and bad investments. You'll find school dropouts, down-and-outers, and even up-and-outers. You'll find casualties on skid row and at the Ritz Carlton. No one is exempt from the pain and scars of the "Mistake Zone". Not even you.

So think about it. Here's a list of decisions that you will probably make between the ages of 17 and 27:

1. College
2. Dating
3. First Job
4. First Car
5. Friends
6. Career Field
7. Marriage
8. Career Location
9. Living Place
10. Children and Family
11. Church
12. Personal Walk with Christ
13. Life's Purpose and Mission
14. Financial Values

That's a pretty long list. Most of these decisions will be made over the next 10 or so years. These things are gigantic! Furthermore, you're just starting out with no way of really knowing for sure which way is right for your future. At first it seems odd that God would throw these things upon you so early in life. He knows you are not ready, but He put you here anyway. Makes you wonder what kind of sense of humor He really has doesn't it?

Over the next several weeks I will post some thoughts on Biblical Decision-Making. Be sure and check back to this blog often.

Faith Focus for August 9

August: Being a student
Hebrews 6:10
For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister.

"There is no substitute for hard work." - Thomas Edison

Be the Right Person (Guy/Girl Relationships)

It's not a Facebook group, but I'm a fan of "being the right kind of person in order to have the right kind of person."

The world's relationship model teaches young people to look for the right person. God's relationship model teaches young people to be the right person, then God will bring the right person to them. It's important for young people to learn God's model in order to spare them from the dangers and heartaches that the world's model will bring.

This past July at summer youth camp our student ministries director taught on the topic of guy/girl relationships. When the week was over, we heard comment after comment about how these young people had never heard some of the Biblical principles that were taught. You see, God's principle is a paradox. And it goes like this: finding the right person isn't about finding the right person - it's about becoming the right person.

Consider these contrasts between God's method and Hollywood's:

1. Becoming the right person places your hope in God. Trying to find the right person places your hope in another person.

2. Becoming the right person focuses on God's work in you. Trying to find the right person prevents God's work in you.

3. Becoming the right person makes you patient. Trying to find the right person makes you impatient.

4. Becoming the right person makes you strong. Trying to find the right person makes you weak.
5. Becoming the right person makes you spiritual. Trying to find the right person makes you self-centered and carnal.

6. Becoming the right person prepares you for the future. Trying to find the right person distracts you from growth.

7. Becoming the right person teaches you to trust God. Trying to find the right person teaches you to trust yourself.

8. Becoming of the right person brings spiritual growth. Trying to find the right person brings disappointment.

9. Becoming the right person settles your emotions. Trying to find the right person confuses your emotions.

10. Becoming the right person makes you want to stay pure. Trying to find the right person tempts you to lose your purity.

11. Becoming the right person I will make you a better spouse. Trying to find the right person will make you a worse spouse.

12. Becoming the right person will lead you to the right person. Trying to find the right person will lead you astray.

13. Becoming the right person places your emotional stability in God. Trying to find the right person makes you emotionally unstable.

14. Becoming the right person seeks love and acceptance from God. Trying to find the right person seeks the love and acceptance from people.

15. Becoming the right person makes God your strength. Trying to find the right person seeks strength from another person.

Someday, when you are married, following God's model will hold your marriage together, but following Hollywood's model will break it apart. I believe it is very important for young people and their parents to be willing to hear the Biblical counsel of godly pastors who know the precepts and principles on this topic. It is not worth the temporary satisfaction of pride to bring regret and possible destruction to the life of our youth. Young people need to pray daily for the wisdom of God, while refusing to trust themselves in this area, and seek godly counsel from the Word of God and the man of God.

FRMBC Ministries Theme for 2010-2011 / Faith Focus for August 2

The new FRMBC Ministries Theme for 2010-2011 is:
"Ambassadors for Christ"





August: Being a student
Proverbs 8:32-33
"31 Rejoicing in the habitable part of his earth; and my delights were with the sons of men. 32 Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways."

What gets planned gets done, but what we postpone, we usually abandon.

You can dress to be chaste or dress to be chased; but only one honors God.

Life After the High School - Part 2

Sustaining Spiritual Life After High School

First, it helps to start warning young people of the process of drifting away from God while they are still in senior high. (See article on this process at 18 and On Your Own.) God says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Any Bible teaching series that will help them see the deception and prepare them to go the right direction is well served at this time. Second, it is vital that we offer spiritual and relational support after high school. Here are a few thoughts:

Challenge parents to stay engaged. A parent’s role changes after high school, but it is no less vital. It becomes more about mentoring and guidance, and it demands a close relationship and a heart connection. I am always ready to meet with the parents of our graduates and challenge them to stay closely connected. I can inform them of the challenges their graduate is going to face, and give them ideas for providing spiritual encouragement and prayer support. Ephesians 6:4 teaches, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

Establish an 18–23 year-old student department. We call ours “College and Career,” or "Cross Walk" and it falls under our student ministry organizationally. Currently it is led by me and my wife, and we strive to invest our hearts and prayers into our students after high school. My prayer is that the Lord will raise up someone else to take on this ministry. I’m eager and excited for my own son to be a part of this department as he transitions out of high school next summer. This group is significantly different than a high school youth group but absolutely essential.

Love them through the test of their faith. Every young person experiences some tests and trials during this time of life. Often those tests strike at the core of their faith. This is a time when their faith is proven personally. We must stand with them, pray for them, encourage them, and invest into them.

Be accessible for counseling and encouragement. At a time when the devil tries to distance them from every good relationship, we must be available. We have an open door and an open heart towards any question. At this age, they need biblical logic to answer honest and difficult questions. Jeremiah 3:15 admonishes us, “And I will give you pastors according to mine heart, which shall feed you with knowledge and understanding.”

Support them through tough decisions. I must be an unbiased counselor. Many of our young people are not called into the ministry, and they need to be reminded that the will of God for them is just as vital as full-time ministry. Young people attend secular colleges or choose local career paths. Our heart and passion for them is that they would follow God passionately and stay in His perfect will. Seeing our young people stay faithful to God is a great reward.

Be sensitive to their unique needs and challenges. This is a distinct stage of life that requires focused Bible teaching and encouragement. Consider some of these challenges:

~Because of classes and work, they don’t have a lot of extra time. They often work second shift and will not be able to attend a lot of weeknight activities like teenagers can. This doesn’t mean they don’t want and need fellowship. It just means it should be scheduled on Sunday nights after church.

~Because of minimum wage jobs and bills, they don’t have extra money. This means group activities should probably be free and in the form of fellowships or game nights. Nearly all of our College and Career activities are held on Sunday nights and are free or minimal cost.

~Because of the constant peer pressure in classes and on the job, they need to be reassured—it would be good to consider getting this group together frequently to share testimonies and encourage one another with their challenges.

~Because of their schedules, they can be hard to track down—we get emails and cell phone numbers, and we do our best to stay connected with them.

~Because of their culture, they can often be non-committal and easily discouraged—we challenge them not to reconsider their good and biblical decisions and are patient with them through times of uncertainty.

~Because their values are constantly hammered, they have many really good questions and can struggle with doubts—we must constantly strive to understand and answer their questions without getting frustrated that they have them.

~Because of an instant-gratification world, they often struggle with patience and fail to see that God’s best is worth waiting for—we must reinforce God’s principles of patience and fruit bearing, “In His season” (Psalm 1:3).

~Because they see themselves as one small spec in a mass of humanity, they need vision for their lives—we must strive to help them see how significant they are in God’s perfect plan.

~Because they are tired of being viewed as a child, they can often overreact to the perceived overbearing of authority—we strive so make sure they know that we believe in them, and we must not be overbearing! We should tell them that we know they will do the right thing. We must encourage them to get counsel, not because we want to control their lives, but because wise people always build good lives by listening to Biblical advice.

~Finally, because they long for relationships and are highly technical, they look to be accepted and connected in every way possible. We must stay connected, keep up with technology, and show them a godly example through close relationships. We must be available for one on-one-time.

(Adapted)

Fighting Authority

The Lord has placed authority figures in the lives of teenagers to correct, protect, and direct them. Regrettably, many young people bristle at the thought of someone other than themselves knowing what might be best for them, subsequently hardening their hearts to any needful reproof or guidance. And while illustrations of this contempt of authority—whatever authority that may be—abundantly dot the recorded history of man, it seems as if harboring this attitude of disdain and distrust is not only characteristic of twenty-first century society but also fostered. Rather than turning to an authority figure (a godly parent, a pastor, a pastor’s wife, a youth pastor, a youth pastor’s wife, a Sunday school teacher, etc.) for counsel, young people as well as their older contemporaries position themselves against that authority, dispelling or flouting any form of leadership; even instruction received grudgingly is diced and pared until it bears only the slightest trace of original meaning.

In Hebrews 13:7, we read: “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls...” Young people, we are commanded to obey authority, those that “have rule” over us; but perhaps there are some of who genuinely and sincerely wonder why authority should be obeyed and what their purpose is in your lives.

Correction. Much of your success or failure in life depends upon whether or not you allow godly authority to correct you. You have only lived a fraction, Lord willing, of a long life. You are still learning and experiencing that which those in authority have learned and experienced long before you were born. You must allow Biblical authority to correct you in areas where you are weak or need help. Wise you would be to hear and heed their correction and instruction.

Protection. The Biblical authority in your life is not there to harm or hurt you; it is there to help and protect you. For example, think of a field filled with hundreds of sheep. Surrounding those sheep is a chain-link fence which the shepherds have put in place for the protection of the sheep. The shepherds did not put the fence there because they hate the sheep or want them to suffer. On the contrary, they understand that, if the fence were not there, the sheep might wander onto the busy highway and become someone’s lamb chops. The same is true in your lives, young people. Satan desires to destroy you, the world wants you, and your flesh urges you to enjoy the pleasures of sin; God has placed authority in your lives to protect you from these enemies.

Direction. God has placed authority in your lives to point you in the right direction. They have been down the road you are traveling and are much wiser and more experienced than you. Authorities will help you succeed in life if you will allow them to give you direction.

Young people, please understand that authority is not your enemy! Ask yourself, how is your relationship with your authority? If it is not right, then make it right today. If you have had a bad spirit toward the God-given authority in your lives, confess it to the Lord today. Allow the authority in your life to give correction, protection, and direction. This statement has been embedded in my mind since my teenage years and has been true in my own life: “Happy is the man who finds his God-given authority then willingly submits to that authority."

Adapted

8 Principles to Unify Authorities

Bringing Together Home, Church, and School

“…and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” –Ecclesiastes 4:12b

Why do our good, solid young people seem to flee the church they grew up in when out on their own? Even more, why do many pastor’s kids and full-time ministry worker’s kids flee church even faster? While there are many possible answers to these tragic questions, I have seen a threefold cord of authority work in my life. A unified authority in the life of a teenager pulls like a threefold cord in the direction of righteous living in the will of God.

The threefold cord of authority is made up of three institutions—home, church, and school. If these three authorities are unified and all pull in the same direction in a young person’s life, a teen is more likely to make positive decisions.

Problems arise when one or more of these authorities are not pulling in the same direction. When this occurs, the young person is forced to agree with part of his authority and disagree with another part.

8 Principles to Unify Authorities

1. Line your home up with the beliefs of the Bible-believing Baptist church you are a member of.

2. If you lead a Christian home and attend a Bible-believing Baptist church, it would only make sense to educate your children in a Christian environment.

3. NEVER CRITICIZE another biblical authority in the presence of a young person.

4. Do not make “mountains out of molehills.” If not a “right or wrong” issue, defer to one another in the spirit of humility and unity. In all things, the Bible must be the ultimate authority.

5. Speak positively of the other biblical authorities in their lives.

6. Encourage other godly biblical authorities to play an active role in raising your young person. Do not be insecure or selfish with your influence and leadership.

7. Wisely balance the time spent among the three authorities.

8. Realize that ultimately your young person will make his or her own decisions. All that you can do is pull in the right direction. Teach them the tools and steps in biblical decision making. (That article is coming soon.)

18 and On Your Own—What Happens to Our Graduates?

As my son is nearing the end of his junior year of high school, the thoughts of the post-high school years are on my mind. Over the past few years, my wife and I have developed a college-and-career ministry at our church designed to minister to our young people during their first 5 years after high school. The following few articles will deal with "What happens to our graduates after high school?"

Have you ever seriously considered this question when it comes to their life direction, their relationship to the pastor and church, and their spiritual support? We live in a culture that has verifiably extended the “teen years” well into the twenties—and churches have yet to respond! In fact, some pastors and parents literally have a mental “disconnect” when our kids turn 18—it’s as if we say, “Well, you’re 18 now, so you’re on your own.” Yet, if our young adults will stay faithful and seriously embrace God’s purpose for their futures, they will have to deliberately swim upstream against the multiple pressures of the culture around them—and they need our help to do so!

This is not an easy battle, and it requires a lot of encouragement and support, but it can be won! How can we come alongside of our graduates and help them navigate their late teens and early twenties? First, let’s take a look at what usually happens.

Understand the Progression
The progression away from God for high school graduates often takes on these eight steps:
1. Culture teaches them not to grow up.
2. Some church youth ministries have indirectly taught that God isn’t fun.
3. Many churches offer little or no focused, age-specific, spiritual support for someone after high school.
4. Graduates who don’t go to a Bible college get jobs and start going to local colleges, often working on Sundays. (Note: There are very few Bible colleges that I could even begin to recommend for anyone other than a young man called to preach. That is why we have a Bible Institute.)
5. At their jobs and colleges our graduates face every kind of temptation and wrong friend.
6. These new and appealing connections and relationships draw them away from the “boring spiritual things” and a church where they have little connection. (This can sometimes be due to the "just church services, no activities" mentality.)
7. The allure of the world, a paycheck, and a new level of “adulthood” promises freedom, pleasure and fun.
8. The process ultimately leads to disappointment and spiritual devastation.

We must lose the “you’re 18 so now you’re on your own” mentality. This progression is killing our kids, and in part two, I'm going to discuss a few things we can do to help our graduates avoid it!

Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 3

The Challenge of Freedom—this third challenge speaks of the increasing freedoms that always accompany adulthood. These freedoms are well deserved, but they must be handled properly—for many abuse their freedom to their own demise. First Corinthians 10:12 teaches,“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”
This verse reminds me of that scene in Bambi when he is trying to walk on a frozen pond. The slippery surface of the ice makes it nearly impossible for Bambi to get his balance and find stability. With every attempt to walk, he goes sprawling wildly out of control. Often, I’ve seen graduates step onto the slippery surface of adulthood only to soon fall and crack their heads open because they didn’t realize how slippery this new surface was!
If you needed to make a long trek across a frozen surface and you wanted to do so safely, you would first choose to step very carefully! Every step—every decision—would be made deliberately and cautiously. Beyond that, you would be wise to find some tool to provide stability and traction. Much like ice-shoes that are equipped with long metal teeth to grip a slippery surface, there are three vital dynamics that provide traction and stability on the slippery surface of adulthood.
Godly direction gives traction—it’s often those who have “no idea what to do” after high school that end up floating pointlessly through life only to ultimately make a mess of their lives. It is absolutely vital that every graduate find God’s direction and pursue it—for direction gives traction and solid footing. For the graduate who honestly does not know God’s direction, priority one should be to seek and solidify that direction—and sometimes that makes a year of Bible college a really good idea. That sure beats floating around pointlessly while you make Big Macs. (The topic of Bible college is for another time. For my philosophy of post-high school Bible instruction, see www.frmbc.com/phil.html.)
Embracing responsibility gives traction—as great as freedom is, it brings with it an amazing level of responsibility. Those who handle their freedom in light of the greater responsibility always survive the trek across the ice. Maturity is not age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. Treating freedom with great responsibility makes a person more spiritually stable and less likely to slip and fall.
Voluntary accountability gives traction—those who stay close to godly authorities—by their own free will—always stand stronger and enjoy God’s greater blessings in the outcomes of their decisions. Those who quickly cast off authority and accountability usually end up broken and bleeding in the middle of a “slippery no-where.” Wise people always choose voluntarily to remain accountable to godly friends and influences—henceforth, they can have the traction to survive the trek!

Beware of these three big challenges, and let us prayerfully and purposefully prepare our young adults to face these tests while standing strong in God’s truth!

Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 2

THE CHALLENGE OF FRIENDS

Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” Nothing changes more rapidly after high school than friendships. A new job, less time with youth group friends, and college bring a whole new world of associations into the life of a young adult. This is a wonderful opportunity that brings with it some danger for those unprepared. Essentially, every graduate needs to understand how to draw a careful line between friends and acquaintances—defined as follows:

Friends are people who influence me. These are the people I desire to be like and with whom I will spend more time. These are the people whom I will allow to have influence and a sharpening effect in my life. These should always be Christians (Baptists) and godly authorities who will continue to develop and mentor me in God’s grace. Young people must remember that God placed them in the church they are in not just to raise them, but to be where they can be used by Him in ministry opportunities. It is vital to form Biblical friendships in their church. Furthermore, young people should not be overy obsessed with guy - girl relationships. (I'll save that topic for another post... or two... or three.)

Acquaintances are people I will influence. These are the people I will determine to exert influence upon without becoming like them. These are co-workers, class-mates, and people who just aren’t going the same direction in life. Amos 3:3 teaches, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Often, young people sense an obligation to relationships—an obligation to give in to pressure, to fit in, to need acceptance from the wrong people. To survive this challenge, my greatest obligations must be to honor the Lord and associate closely with people who will help me walk with Him. Graduates should feel no infatuation or obligation to potentially harmful relationships or associations. And every young person should expect that the devil will try to bring distracting relationships into his life very soon, if he hasn’t already.

Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 1

Have you ever seen a train wreck? There is not a more vivid metaphor than the unbridled collision of several tons of moving metal resulting in twisted steel, broken glass, and an industrial disaster of gargantuan proportions. Too often we see high school graduates celebrate their graduation night and start down the tracks of adulthood only to wreck their lives just a few miles from the train station! This is the time of year we see graduates “commence” or begin their post-high school adult lives; so I thought it would be appropriate to consider the top three challenges facing every graduate. It could be stated that these are the first big and immediate tests that confront a young adult immediately after high school. If they pass these tests, they avoid the bad decisions that can lead to a spiritual train wreck. Perhaps these thoughts will be helpful as our youth prepare for adulthood. These are even good reminders to those who have been out of high school a few years already.

THE CHALLENGE OF A JOB

Exodus 20:9–10 says, “Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy God.” God created us to work and expects us to lead productive lives. “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” (Ecclesiastes 9:10).
And every young adult is excited about having that first job! Mine was working on the grounds crew at a local golf coarse. What a joy. And yet, so many young people allow their jobs to become their first spiritual downfall, often within a few weeks of high school graduation. How?

They Work at the Wrong Place. Even in a tough economy, starter jobs are fairly easy to find, especially for hard working, honest, and clean-cut young people. It’s amazing how many Christians will take jobs at places where a Christian has no business working. No amount of money is worth corrupting your heart and mind, so teach young adults to be selective about work environments. It is possible to work in the world without “eating the king’s meat” (Daniel 1:8). For every Christian, there ought to be some places we just wouldn’t work, no matter what.

They Work at the Wrong Time. The first test of a new job is Sunday work. How is it that we can toss God and His church aside for $7.50 an hour? One of the greatest reasons young people fall away from God after high school is that they stop attending church because of work! But for those who honor God’s commands and protect Sunday, God always provides for their needs in a better way. I’ve watched it dozens of times over the years—God always takes care of those who protect His day and who stay deliberately and faithfully involved in their local churches.

They Work for the Wrong Purpose. Some young people view their new jobs as nothing more than a way to meet new friends and buy clothes or iPods, while others see it as a temporary means to a more important end and a way to be a witness for Christ. Those with a higher purpose—pursuing the will of God—always keep their jobs in check and view them as an opportunity to facilitate God’s will in other areas.

I'll continue this in part 2.

Attitude: It Will Make You Or Break You

Success is not measured in talent, ability, or riches, but rather in your attitude.
The year was 1890 and report cards were being sent home from the schools in England. A young sixteen-year-old boy took his card home and, with fear and anticipation, he opened the envelope. Although he was a bright student, his speech impediment made him something less than desirable to listen to. After glancing at his report card for several minutes, he found these words written to him from his speech teacher. “Obvious, No Success.” The young teenage boy looked at those words and determined that his life was going to be a success! The sixteen-year-old boy’s name was Winston Churchill, and he later did go on to become a great success.

What was the difference maker in this man’s life? Attitude! Success is not measured in talent, ability, or riches, but rather in your attitude. Winston Churchill said these words, “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

The Bible gives much reference to our attitude as Christians. The word spirit simply means “our prevailing attitude.” Here are a few examples of spirits or attitudes in the Bible.
Jealous
Evil
Wicked
Haughty
Prideful
Meek
Humble
Conquering
Wounded
Doubting
Aside from Christ, one of the greatest examples that we see in the Bible of a good attitude is that of a man by the name of Daniel. If there ever was a man who had an excuse to have a negative attitude, it was Daniel. Daniel was a taken from family and friends, became a prisoner of war, and was forced to live in a wicked country. Yet we find in Daniel 6:1-3 that Daniel was promoted and exalted above all the king’s men because of his excellent spirit.

Let me ask you, what type of attitude do you have? If we were to ask your parents, pastor, youth pastor, friends and teachers, what would they say about you? Could they say that you, like Daniel, have an excellent spirit?

Here are few helpful thoughts that teenagers can apply to their lives as they seek to have an attitude that will honor and glorify God.
1. Never allow circumstances to dictate your attitude.
There will always be enough negative things that will happen each day to cause you to have a negative attitude.
You will fail a test.
Your friends will lie about you.
You had plans to hang out at a friend’s house only to have your parents say no.
There are endless examples. You can either decide to allow these negative circumstances to control your attitude, or you can take charge of your attitude and live on the winning side.
2. Attitude determines altitude.
How high you soar in life will ultimately depend upon your attitude. Someone once said, “We are not born winners, and we are not born losers. We are all born choosers.” The attitude of success or failure is an attitude that you choose for yourself.
3. Attitude is contagious.
In Daniel chapter one, we find that Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat. As a result, three other young men decided to make the same choice as Daniel. Why? Because his attitude was contagious. Your attitude is either infecting people’s lives or it is affecting people’s lives. If our attitude is contagious, is yours worth catching? What kind of youth group would we have if everyone in the youth group had your attitude? Make your attitude worth catching!

Our attitude is something that can be very effective if used in the proper manner. May each of us strive to make our attitude something that can be used greatly in the hand of an Almighty God.

Questions of Young Christian Singles

It is extremely important that young Christian singles have a place where they can air important questions about the needs in their lives. In order for a student ministry to be effective, older teens and young adults need to be able to approach a spiritual leader with these questions. It is imperative that spiritual leaders convey approachability to those they lead.

Here are questions that are on most of the minds of older teens and young singles:

1. How do your parents’ roles change as you get older?
2. How can you be 100% sure about God’s will for your life?
3. How do I discern or understand that God is leading in a certain direction?
4. Where/how do you draw the line on music?
5. How do you react/talk to friends who have trials that you can’t understand?
6. How do I deal with co-workers who ridicule me for being a Christian? (How can I witness to my co-workers?)
7. How do you not let fear of the future stop you from moving forward?
8. Dating—finding the right person, developing a godly relationship, when to say “I love you,” parents’ approval, dealing with breaking up, being physical, etc.
9. How do I approach my finances—budgeting, saving, giving, etc.?
10. How can I handle trials and stay faithful through them?
11. How do I deal with spiritual struggles—my relationship with God being up and down or failing in the same areas over and over?

12. How can I help a friend that I’m burdened for who is drifting away from the Lord?

Those of us who have been placed by a pastor in these areas of ministry should make sure we're addressing these topics regularly and biblically. I would emphasize that only those whom a pastor has authorized should deal with young people in these areas; people with the same heart and biblical convictions of a pastor. I would also encourage parents to seek godly counsel from their pastor on how they can deal with these topics. Our older teens and single young adults need sound, spiritual leaders to lead them in the paths of righteousness for the Lord's sake (Psalm 23:3).

How To Encourage Your Youth Director

If you have a youth director, you are blessed. Many young people would give anything to have a youth director. Whatever you do, please do not take your youth director for granted. I do know that youth directors everywhere need young people who will encourage them. God gave me the privilege of being a youth director for a few years before putting me in the pastoral ministry. My wife and I were blessed with some tremendous young people. Many of these young people are now faithfully serving the Lord today. I truly believe that a youth director/leader is very valuable to the young people in the Lord’s churches. Here are some of the ways that young people can encourage their youth leader and his wife. Many of these ideas would apply to encouraging a pastor, Sunday school teacher or Christian school teacher. To any young people who read this, I want to challenge you to encourage your youth leader and his wife.

1) Be faithful to church.

A youth director loves to see his young people faithful to every church service.

2) Be faithful to all youth events.

This would include Sunday school, teen hour (like FRMBC’s ProTeens), teen soul winning, teen prayer time, youth revivals, youth conferences, teen camp, etc.

3) Be a soul winner.

If you really want to encourage your youth director, lead a soul to Christ.

4) Show up early.

When you show up early, you can meet the visitors, be friendly, and help to set a good spirit.

5) Be responsive in services.

It’s okay for young men to say “amen” at the appropriate times. Pay attention, and allow God to speak to your heart. It will encourage your youth director to see you respond during the invitation.

6) Sing.

As a young person, you must learn to sing. Sing with fervency! Think about the words of the songs. A youth group that loves to sing is a youth group that is spiritual.

7) Sit up front.

I have never seen a young person do great things for God from the back row of Sunday school or church.

8) Look for ways to help.

Help your youth director set up before activities and clean up after activities. Don’t allow your youth director’s wife to clean the church kitchen. Don’t allow the youth director to sweep the bus/van. Take the initiative to help in any way possible.

9) Express your gratitude.

Be thankful. Thank your youth director for lessons, messages, activities, etc. Write a lot of thank you notes—be a thankful teenager.

10) Write notes of encouragement to your youth director and his wife.

I still have many notes of encouragement from young people in my youth group. Those young people will probably never know how much those notes encouraged me.

11) Don’t complain.

As a youth director, I organized a few activities that were awful. Perhaps you have experienced a boring activity. No matter what – don’t complain. Be glad that you have a youth director and youth activities of any kind; many teens do not.

12) Never criticize.

Your youth director needs your support not your criticism. Don’t be negative. Look for opportunities to compliment and encourage your youth director. Your parents should do that as well.

13) Be consistent.

Look like a Christian, act like a Christian, dress like a Christian, talk like a Christian 24/7. This will be a great encouragement to your youth director.

14) Pray for your youth director.

Pray for him daily. Pray for his wife and family. Pray that God would give him wisdom and power. Let him know that you are praying for him.

15) Communicate.

Let your youth director know how you are doing. Keep him informed about decisions you are making. Ask your youth director to pray for specific needs that you have.

Your youth director has invested much time, energy, and prayer into your life. After you graduate, don’t throw it all away. Continue to live for God. Stay faithful to church. FRMBC youth are encouraged to attend our Bible institute. Ask your pastor to have such a ministry for post -high school youth. Seek God’s will for your life. Seeing you give your life to God to serve Him will encourage your youth director like nothing else can.

Does God Care What We Wear? (Part 3)

In a day when sloppier and sleezier is finding its way into churches and the Christian home, may we reconsider clear biblical principles and transfer them to our children. God gives us many good reasons to carefully choose our dress and to set guidelines for how we “appear.” The first six reasons were as follows:
1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. 2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. 3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and identify with godliness. 4. To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. 5. To honor the convictions of spiritual authorities. 6. To give account to the Lord with joy. Let’s consider four final principles to choosing “what we wear” and why to have a student ministry dress standard.
7. To promote a spirit of maturity. Maturity isn’t an age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. The young people we influence are quickly becoming adults, and no responsible adult gets to dress the way they want all the time! We accept given boundaries in a multitude of environments—because we take responsibility seriously. (By the way, kids may not always respect what their parents respect, but they always disrespect what their parents disrespect. Just remember that about spiritual authorities.)
When we let kids wear whatever they want, we are teaching them to be self-centered—to believe that the world revolves around them. The sooner I can get our teens over their fashion-conscious insecurities, the more mature and responsible they will become. First Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
It is possible to help this generation of young people understand what it means to be mature examples. In fact, this is what God commands in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” And as I always say, be an example, not an excuse!
8. To exemplify a distinct lifestyle not conformed to the world. Simply put, the attitude that says, “I can wear what I want when I want and nobody can tell me different” is not a spiritual life—it’s a carnal life. This is a life conformed, not transformed. Ephesians 5:8, “For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light.” Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
I still believe that God intends for us to walk “out of step” with the world. This simply isn’t the case for modern Christendom; and I emphasize the “dom” (dumb). Most Christians are trying to blend in as best as they can with the world’s styles. Why do we care what the world thinks more than what the Lord desires? God instructs us in Galatians that, even as we are in Christ, we are also to put on Christ. Most Christians are more than happy to be in Christ, but far fewer really desire to put on Christ.
9. To protect the thoughts and innocence of young men and young ladies. No parent would want young men lusting after your daughter. No parent would want a son tempted at a youth function. Unfortunately, our sons will most likely see more inappropriate clothing by accident during their teen years than their grandfathers could have looked for in a lifetime.
For this reason, I contend that a church youth group and youth activities should be a “spiritually-safe” environment for young people. When we teach modesty to young women, we are teaching them to value themselves as God does and to save themselves for marriage. And we are protecting the hearts and minds of young men—teaching them to guard their thoughts. When we teach appropriateness to young men, we are teaching them responsibility and respect toward the Lord and others.
Second Timothy 2:22, “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
10. To be a clear witness of the Gospel. You would have to take several dozen teenagers to public places on a regular basis to understand this one. When our teenagers pile out of a church van in a McDonalds parking lot, or stand in line together at a theme park—they are noticed. And when they are dressed sharp—they flat out SHINE!
Not long ago, a youth leader had a group of senior-highers at a restaurant. As their group spent forty-five minutes enjoying food and fellowship, they were dressed sharp, they acted respectfully, and they were kind to others in the restaurant. (For instance, their teens allow other people to take the front of the line whenever our entire group is in line at a restaurant.) Toward the end of their visit, two adults approached youth leader and asked where these “wonderful students” were from. He happily told them the name of their church—to which they replied, “Well, this sure gives us hope for the next generation! What a great group of young people!”
The youth leader was so thankful for the testimony that the Lord allowed them to have at that moment. Sadly, I’ve seen some youth groups that were in no way different from any other group of teens in secular America. Why can’t we remember that man always looks on the outward appearance—1 Samuel 16:7? Jesus taught us in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
So there you have them—ten principles to validate that God does care what we wear. I pray you will consider them and teach them. Teens want to know “why.” They won’t always understand all of our rules, but this is one area where they are more than capable of connecting the dots—if we present them reasonably and biblically. Everybody knows that dress matters. It’s really just a matter of submitting our selfish wills to God and living to please Him first.
These same principles would apply to hairstyles, make-up, manners and other areas of outward conduct as well. Perhaps as you read these principles you thought, “Well, that’s just not ME. I have to be ME.” May I gently encourage you to give up that self-centered thought process. I figured out a long time ago that “being myself” was a losing proposition—and a very limiting one. The winning life is really about surrendering your identity fully to Jesus Christ.
Just trust the Lord and His Word. If you are a spiritual leader, lead your group in the right direction. Give clear biblical direction and unashamedly lead the way. If you’re a teenager—value yourself, your testimony, and your future enough to dress for God’s glory. Set aside your own preferences or self-centered thinking. Decide to dress in a way that absolutely pleases the Lord and shows respect for Him in every environment.
As I close, I would like to contextualize everything I’ve stated earlier with this final thought. Encouraging Christians to dress to honor the Lord is not about legalism or arrogance. We are not “Gestapo” about this. We don’t look down on someone who doesn’t dress perfectly to our standard. We are compassionate towards them. We welcome teens and families to our church that don’t dress the way we wish they would. Yet we still love them, teach them, and minister to them.
We just don’t buy into the argument that successful youth ministry (or any other ministry) requires rock music, grunge dress, and freakishly immature youth pastors. In fact, the youth groups that I see with that philosophy are failing miserably at life change. Judging by the product—NO THANKS!
As you raise the bar in this area, please do so with tenderness and compassion. Teach the truth with love and patience. Teach your teens that decent dress doesn’t produce a right heart—it should reflect one! Christ-honoring dress should be the product of a pure heart, not the white-washed exterior of a proud one.
Finally, I haven’t tried to define your standard. That’s up to you, the Lord, and His Word. It’s up to your authorities. If your standard isn’t mine, I’m not accountable for that. My standard doesn’t define spirituality, it merely defines what God has put on my heart for the environments and people that I lead and influence. You must define your standard by God’s Word, and be prepared to answer to Him for it. By the way, the Word of God doesn’t say something to me and then something different to you. Anyone who understands the doctrine of bibliology would know that. When it comes to dress—do you care about honoring the Lord? I pray that you do.

Does God Care What We Wear? (Part 2)

In a day when sloppier and sleezier is finding its way into the church and the Christian home, may we reconsider clear biblical principles and transfer them to our children. God gives us many good reasons to carefully choose our dress and to set guidelines for how we “appear.” The first three reasons were as follows:
1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. 2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. 3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and identify with godliness. The last article provided verses and explanations. Let’s consider the next three reasons why we should hold a high standard for our dress choices both at church and in our family.
4. To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. Sadly, teens today are more sexually educated, sexually active, and sexually tempted than they have EVER been in American history! In our homes and church environments we should be committed to maintaining a pure and godly atmosphere—and that means dress should be modest and appropriate. The way we dress absolutely contributes to the environment of a group or family setting, and these environments should be godly and Christ-honoring.
Additionally, teens often draw much of their identity from their clothing! They are highly self-conscious and image conscious. Read this statement carefully: A group dynamic where every individual is consumed with social status and fashion trends doesn’t lend itself to individual spiritual growth! They must get over themselves before they will grow spiritually.
Every time a youth group meets, they should be pursuing spiritual transformation! This is not a light thing. It is a very serious matter. And our dress should contribute to the process, not detract from it. Romans 13:14, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.” Romans 14:19, “Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.”
Think of this “environment” principle this way: What if your child needed open heart surgery and the surgeon showed up for surgery wearing flip flops, cut-off shorts, a tank top, a ball cap, sunglasses, and smelling like sunscreen? If you are normal, you would deem him inappropriate and unfit for surgery!
When my son, Michael, was born, he had a low blood oxygen level, and for a few days he had to be kept in the NICU ward of the hospital. Strangely, every time I wanted to hold him or see him, I had to scrub my hands and arms and cover myself in the oddest-looking blue outfit you have ever seen. Why? Because the NICU is about a delicate health environment where little lives are at stake. The value of those lives places a premium on the cleanliness of the environment.
So, how valuable are the young hearts we are raising up in today’s godless culture? How safe and pure is the environment you create for young people? Is your church or youth or group or home a place where spiritual growth is highly valued? (It is at FRMBC.) Or is it a place where sensuality reigns in the name of “grace.” I know that’s strong, but I fear that we have devalued our spiritual environments to the point where, though kids might be having fun—dressing and dancing and playing—we have killed the chance for real life transformation. The environment matters, and kids don’t need us to juvenilize God and His truth! They need us to call them to higher ground and to a biblical lifestyle that rises above the dictates of culture.
5. To honor the convictions of our pastor. What could possibly be wrong with simply preferring another person—especially one in God-ordained spiritual authority? The Bible is clear on this principle in two ways. First, we are commanded to honor those who have the rule over us. Hebrews 13:17, “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls…”. Second, we are commanded to prefer one another! Romans 12:10, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”
For young people, the question of dress is as simple as, “What do my authorities want me to wear?” At this point it is imperative that parents Biblically line up with their pastor! The attitude that says, “I’ll wear what I want no matter what anybody says” is not only rebellious, it is just purely selfish and childish. Any two-year old can display that on cue! If I know an authority figure, especially a pastor or youth leader, prefers that I dress a certain way, I’m right to honor and to prefer my authority just to show love and respect. Besides that, they most likely Biblically correct.
Question: Why will we do this for employers, restaurants, golf courses, and bowling alleys, but we won’t do it for the Lord or for environments that represent Him?
6. To give an account to the Lord with joy. This one is really big for me—both as a parent and as a pastor. We really do have to stand before God to answer for the environment we allow! We will answer to God for what we allow and for what we teach. May God give us the courage to make our dress choices not by the movement of culture, but by the principle of accountability to God and His Word. Second Corinthians 5:10, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.”
So there you have it—three more reasons why we can conclude that God really does care about what we wear. There are four more reasons to go! Until then—give God His way and dress for the glory of His name not your own!