18 and On Your Own—What Happens to Our Graduates?

As my son is nearing the end of his junior year of high school, the thoughts of the post-high school years are on my mind. Over the past few years, my wife and I have developed a college-and-career ministry at our church designed to minister to our young people during their first 5 years after high school. The following few articles will deal with "What happens to our graduates after high school?"

Have you ever seriously considered this question when it comes to their life direction, their relationship to the pastor and church, and their spiritual support? We live in a culture that has verifiably extended the “teen years” well into the twenties—and churches have yet to respond! In fact, some pastors and parents literally have a mental “disconnect” when our kids turn 18—it’s as if we say, “Well, you’re 18 now, so you’re on your own.” Yet, if our young adults will stay faithful and seriously embrace God’s purpose for their futures, they will have to deliberately swim upstream against the multiple pressures of the culture around them—and they need our help to do so!

This is not an easy battle, and it requires a lot of encouragement and support, but it can be won! How can we come alongside of our graduates and help them navigate their late teens and early twenties? First, let’s take a look at what usually happens.

Understand the Progression
The progression away from God for high school graduates often takes on these eight steps:
1. Culture teaches them not to grow up.
2. Some church youth ministries have indirectly taught that God isn’t fun.
3. Many churches offer little or no focused, age-specific, spiritual support for someone after high school.
4. Graduates who don’t go to a Bible college get jobs and start going to local colleges, often working on Sundays. (Note: There are very few Bible colleges that I could even begin to recommend for anyone other than a young man called to preach. That is why we have a Bible Institute.)
5. At their jobs and colleges our graduates face every kind of temptation and wrong friend.
6. These new and appealing connections and relationships draw them away from the “boring spiritual things” and a church where they have little connection. (This can sometimes be due to the "just church services, no activities" mentality.)
7. The allure of the world, a paycheck, and a new level of “adulthood” promises freedom, pleasure and fun.
8. The process ultimately leads to disappointment and spiritual devastation.

We must lose the “you’re 18 so now you’re on your own” mentality. This progression is killing our kids, and in part two, I'm going to discuss a few things we can do to help our graduates avoid it!

Avoiding A Train Wreck - Part 3

The Challenge of Freedom—this third challenge speaks of the increasing freedoms that always accompany adulthood. These freedoms are well deserved, but they must be handled properly—for many abuse their freedom to their own demise. First Corinthians 10:12 teaches,“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.”
This verse reminds me of that scene in Bambi when he is trying to walk on a frozen pond. The slippery surface of the ice makes it nearly impossible for Bambi to get his balance and find stability. With every attempt to walk, he goes sprawling wildly out of control. Often, I’ve seen graduates step onto the slippery surface of adulthood only to soon fall and crack their heads open because they didn’t realize how slippery this new surface was!
If you needed to make a long trek across a frozen surface and you wanted to do so safely, you would first choose to step very carefully! Every step—every decision—would be made deliberately and cautiously. Beyond that, you would be wise to find some tool to provide stability and traction. Much like ice-shoes that are equipped with long metal teeth to grip a slippery surface, there are three vital dynamics that provide traction and stability on the slippery surface of adulthood.
Godly direction gives traction—it’s often those who have “no idea what to do” after high school that end up floating pointlessly through life only to ultimately make a mess of their lives. It is absolutely vital that every graduate find God’s direction and pursue it—for direction gives traction and solid footing. For the graduate who honestly does not know God’s direction, priority one should be to seek and solidify that direction—and sometimes that makes a year of Bible college a really good idea. That sure beats floating around pointlessly while you make Big Macs. (The topic of Bible college is for another time. For my philosophy of post-high school Bible instruction, see www.frmbc.com/phil.html.)
Embracing responsibility gives traction—as great as freedom is, it brings with it an amazing level of responsibility. Those who handle their freedom in light of the greater responsibility always survive the trek across the ice. Maturity is not age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. Treating freedom with great responsibility makes a person more spiritually stable and less likely to slip and fall.
Voluntary accountability gives traction—those who stay close to godly authorities—by their own free will—always stand stronger and enjoy God’s greater blessings in the outcomes of their decisions. Those who quickly cast off authority and accountability usually end up broken and bleeding in the middle of a “slippery no-where.” Wise people always choose voluntarily to remain accountable to godly friends and influences—henceforth, they can have the traction to survive the trek!

Beware of these three big challenges, and let us prayerfully and purposefully prepare our young adults to face these tests while standing strong in God’s truth!